Sunday, 15 June 2014.
It's
father day today, and a day of great importance in today’s standard.
I happened to know it through the
numerous postings on Facebook, advertisement seen everywhere and most important
of all, the preview and greeting from my lovely daughter.
"Daddy,
later you cannot see what I am doing, OK? It's a card for an important day. Hee
hee... "
As the year’s
passes, things changed and so does the way we celebrate father's day and the
role of father.
Till I am
in my 30s, I have never heard of Father's day, the special celebrative day in
the world. Whenever I saw those posts on father's day and how they had
celebrated father's day, I am lost with my words. I had never celebrated
father's day with my father, and the phrase "Happy Father's Day!" is
totally alien to me. However, I am not guilty and I know neither is my father
sad about it.
My father is proud for being the
pillar of the family, for being able to bring in the money to support the
family. His greatest achievement is his ability to support his children to
secure a diploma each, despite the fact that he did not have any formal education
and he was fighting an illness to live at that time. He is a sailor and a
man with few words, so few that we can count the number of words he says within
a year. Well, that's partly resulted from his sailing schedule where he only
came home once every 2 years. He did not attend any of my birthday celebrations, which
only happens 3 times before I am married (once when I turn 21 and twice planned
by my then ex-girlfriend aka. wife). Neither did he attend any of my school
graduation ceremonies. He only went to school once with me to apply for school
fee subsidy and loan of school text books, when he lost his income due to the
illness he had been fighting. During that day, it's the first time I saw him
smiling. My teacher was full of good comments about my studies and character. I
am happy that day too because I made him proud despite the tough life we had.
Fast
forward 40 years later, I am now a father. I am a father that has to face a
totally different set of challenges. I played Barbie with my daughter, brought
her for her enrichment, dance, art and swimming classes, I changed her diapers,
bathed her, combined her hair, talk nonsense to her, and even carry my wife's
bag so that she can hold my daughter or free her hands to choose my daughter's
clothes during shopping. All of which I had never see my father doing. Without
a role model, I am kind of having my on-the-job (OJT) training as I grew to
become what it's expected of a new age father.
It's not about I am or my father
are a better father. It's how the roles of father had changed with the progress
of mankind and under the expectation of the society. It's kind of difficult for
men to cope with those changes. I can't look out for the bus while talking to 小tz. I can't talk to her on the
phone while I am attending to my work. I can't watch the television programme,
do my stuff and talk to her at the same time. In short, I am taught and trained
to mono-task. Multitasking like what mothers are always doing is just too
overwhelming for me, you know?
The other
day, while waiting for my bus, I saw a mother with 2 children seated with her
back facing the traffic. She was helping her daughter with her ponytail when
her son shouted to her that their bus has arrived. She wasn't panicky, finished
the ponytail for her daughter then walked with her 2 children to board the bus.
Perfect timing and I was like "How she did that!”. Women, they say.
Are you coping well being a
father?
I am struggling with my new role.
Happily struggling...
Unlike being at work with a team
of colleagues that compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses to complete
our daily work, I am alone as a father. I don’t have anybody to share or take
some responsibility away from me as a father, and I can’t. Nobody can replace
me as the father of my daughter. I guess the only then is to be a good student
and continue to learn to be a good father.
Photograph:
We were watching World Cup where
the battle was between Iran and Nigeria on Tuesday afternoon, 17 Jun 2014 at
SAFRA. 小tz
wrote this on my phone and ask me to post it:
We went to
watch football at SAFRA, it was so interesting and I like it so much. ThE cRaZy
DaDdY’s wife also likes to watch football. I thought ThE cRaZy DaDdY does not
like to watch football, but he was watching the football too! The screen is so
BIG!!! ~The End~
From 小tz and ThE
cRaZy DaDdY.
Note: She took
my phone, if I don’t watch football, what should I do?! Anyway, I really don’t
like watching football, except to see matches by Brazil and South Korean. Both teams
transformed football into an art when I seen them during the last World Cup. We
just happened to be there and though why not let her be part of the craze now
in Singapore. Haha…
